The tips below are culled from my knowledge of technology and my experience as a victim of online or cyber stalking. For more information please visit WiredSafety.org.

Sselect a gender-neutral username for your e-mail address or online profiles for chat rooms, forums, etc. DON'T pick something cute, such as misskitty@aol.com or use your first name if it is obviously female. Since the majority of online victims are female, this is what predators look for. Also, be cautious of using your first and last name as your user name. If you are listed in the phone book, having a user name such as firstname.lastname@hotmail.com makes you an easy target.

Instruct children to never, ever give out any personal information - their real name, address, or telephone number on-line without your permission.

Keep your primary e-mail address private. Use your primary e-mail address ONLY for people you know and trust. Get a free e-mail account through someplace like Hotmail, Juno or Yahoo! and use that for all your other on-line activity. Make sure you select a gender-neutral username that is nothing like anything you've had before.

DON'T fill out profile forms completely! When you sign up for any e-mail account, whether it's through your ISP (Internet Service Provider such as AOL or Comcast) or a free provider (such as Yahoo! or Hotmail), fill out as little information about yourself as possible. You do NOT need to fill out everything they ask for. When you sign up you'll see what information is absolutely necessary to get your account opened. You may give ficticious information (just make sure it isn't somebody else's address). The same goes for profiles in IM (Instant Messenger) programs such as ICQ or AOL, and chat rooms. Never, ever fill out your profiles, unless you want the whole world to know everything about you.

DO block or ignore unwanted users. Whether you are in a chat room or using IM, you should always check out what options/preferences are available to you and take advantage of the "Block all users except those on my buddy list" or add unwanted usernames to an Ignore list in chat. If anyone bothers you and won't go away, put them on block or ignore!

DON'T defend yourself. Yes, this is the most common reaction when someone begins to bother you on-line. Most people naturally want to defend themselves, but a reaction from you is just what the harasser/predator wants. He or she is "fishing" for someone to latch onto and harass. When you reply to them, whether in a chat room, via IM, e-mail, in newsgroups, message boards or anywhere else online, you're letting them know you're upset, and thus have given them the first clue or button to begin pushing. That's exactly what they wan.t No matter how hard it is, ignore these people. When they realize they can't bother you, they'll either go on to the next chat room, newsgroup, trying to find another "fish" or they will escalate by trying to reach you in some other way. This is where not having your address on your profile is very helpful. If someone does contact you directly after you've blocked them consider contacting authorities, there's nothing they can do but they can advise you as to current laws that might protect you if things become worse. Save the information sent to you and note date and time you were contacted.

Lurk: Lurking is good! Reading messages and not getting into discussion online gives you the opportunity to get to know the participants and the Forum/Chat room or Blogger's boudaries and limits. Respond or post to newsgroups, message boards, mailing lists, chat rooms, etc. only after you know there's adequate monitoring of discussion and good behavior observed.

Watch what you "say" or write on-line. When you do participate on-line, be careful--only type what you would say to someone's face. If you wouldn't say it to a stranger standing next to you in an elevator, why in the world would you "say" it on-line?

Signature Files. If you use a signature file (a short attachment or textual message composed by the e-mail user that common includes name, name of organization, job title, address as well as telephone and fax numbers) make sure you know what information is in there. Check to be sure you're not giving out your full name, address and phone number. If you must have some or all of that information, see the advice below.

Get a free fax/voicemail number. If you absolutely must have a contact phone number anywhere on-line, whether on a website, in your signature file or in your profile (remember what we said about profiles!), get a free fax/voicemail number from someplace like eFax. It's easy to register, you get a free number and can then post it on your web site, sig file, etc. If someone calls, they'll get a pre-recorded message stating you are unavailable and they can leave a voicemail message. If a fax is sent, it's just like a regular fax machine. You then get notification in your e-mailbox when a voicemail message or fax has arrived and can play the voicemail message through your computer (you need speakers and a sound card for this) or open up the fax and then print it out if you want. W.H.O.A. has one - you can get one, too!

Get a P.O. Box. If you need a contact mailing address, spend the money and get a P.O. Box in your town or the next town over. It's better to be safe than sorry!

Get an unlisted telephone number. Yes, you may have to contact everyone you know that you've changed your phone number, but which is more important - protecting yourself and your family or being listed everywhere? If you're currently listed in the telephone book, then anyone can find you on-line. Go to the The Ultimates White Pages (www.theultimates.com) and do a search for your phone number, or do a reverse search with your phone number. If you are listed, you need to contact each and every phone listing website and find out how to get your name/phone number removed. But remember, if you are listed, next year when the new phone books come out you'll go right back up on their sites.

Get Caller ID. If you insist on keeping your listed telephone number. Then, if someone begins harassing you on-line, looks up your listed number on the net and begins calling you, you can sometimes figure out who it is if their number shows up on Caller ID.

Ego Surf. At least every 6 months put your first name and last name in quotes in search engines (such as Yahoo!, Google or Altavista) and personal data providers (such as Anywho.com, Superpages.com, and Addresses.com, to see if you get any search results regarding your personal information. If you do you can write to them and request to be removed. Warning: you must do this every year as your name, address, etc. will be relisted. You will be surprised at what you find. Make sure you also search the names of your loved ones and/or children. Remember to put their names in quotes to refine the search results to them.

Never give your password to anyone, especially if someone sends you an email or IM (Instant Message) requesting this information to verify your membership. Your ISP will never, ever ask you for your password.

Don't provide your credit card number or other identifying information as proof of age to access or subscribe to a website run by a company you are not familiar with.

Always check the Better Business Bureau to check on the legitimacy of an online vendor.

Don't flirt online, unless you know the other person well. Diana's internet friendship and innocent flirtation led to her disappearance and sexual assault at then tender age of 15. She thought she was flirting with another boy from her school. In reality she was flirting online with a middle-aged predator who had two convictions: one for sexual assault and another for attempted murder.

TEENAGERS SHOULD NEVER GET TOGETHER WITH SOMEONE THEY MET ONLINE.

Posted by: Michele at 10:38 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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