Nay, taken once a day for a week, he can give you a permanent attitude adjustment. I just have to keep counting down the days till all legislatures go on recess for July 4. Anyway, to brighten up your day, here's Robin Williams doing a bit of his stand up show: Live on Broadway - Nov. 2006

For more where that came from, double-click on the object.

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Because of a localized power failure I have nothing interesting to post. Well, except for my horoscope.

So lets see what this month has instore for me:

Gemini, its going to be an exciting month. In fact, this could be a pivotal month in many ways. To begin, you're excited about an association you either are about to make or just forged in the last weeks of May. You usually like to fly solo, but this month you see clearly all the reasons why you shouldn't. The person standing close to you has apparently gained your trust and shown you a vision of a better future. If you feel ready to promise your love this would be one of the best times in the year to do so. (You will get another wonderful chance in December.) If, on the other hand, you'd rather collaborate in a business partnership or association, it would be also the right moment to create that collaboration.

Your friends will play a major role this month, too. Lately, you've been so caught up at work that your pals have complained that they hardly see you. They have had to wait patiently for you to come 'round. Happily, you've now come to a point where you can sit back and enjoy all that you've accomplished. It's time to exhale, relax, and schedule some fun dates for lunch, drinks, or dinner with those you've been meaning to see. One particularly exciting day will be June 8th, when Jupiter will combine forces with Mars to create all sorts of fun.

You'll be thinking about others at the start of June, but come the second half of June, you'll focus on your own needs. The new moon in Gemini will appear on June 14, a key point in the year. In the days and weeks that follow, you'll have an opportunity to go back to personal goals and dreams that have languished because responsibilities have gotten in the way. Choose the one dream that means the most to you and find a way to give it a big push forward.

Mercury will turn retrograde on June 15 for a three-week period, making the second half of June a good time to review past successes and disappointments and analyze what worked and what has not. Refine your direction and reset your compass in midmonth. Build elasticity into your plan to allow for a few surprises that will inevitably come up. If you had a dream you tried to launch that for whatever reason didn't lift off, Mercury retrograde may give you a second chance to do so now.

If you need to take a business trip, do so on June 19, when meetings are likely to lead you to lucrative situations. If you work in twosome teams or have an agent, the person you are partnering with will be quite helpful in reeling in a big deal.

The month ends with an emphasis on money. You might decide to make a sizable contribution to your retirement account, or set up a fund that you can gradually contribute to as you go along. Or you may be paid a substantial sum for a commission, insurance payout, or bonus. One way or anther, your fortunes should increase at this full moon, June 30.

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UPDATE: Okay, I'm closing off comments because I don't think my poor immortal Christian soul can handle the increasingly racey comments. Sorry!

Semen - Addictive & Mood Enhancing

According to an article in Psychology Today, the study's author, Gordon G. Gallup, Ph.D., "a psychologist at the State University of New York, women who do not use condoms during sex are less depressed and less likely to attempt suicide than are women who have sex with condoms and women who are not sexually active, leads one researcher to conclude that semen contains powerful—and potentially addictive—mood-altering chemicals."

Something tells me, guys are going to have small laminated copies of this article made, just to keep in their wallets and share it with the women in their lives.

Posted by: Michele at 10:12 PM | Comments (12) | Add Comment
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I have a really important confession to make. Yes, I have to confess it all before I explode. After more than 20 yrs., my affections for a special someone have finally been outgrown (as you can see I'm nothing if not loyal) due to neglect and lack of growth. Yes, my love has shifted from this man to a new man in my life.

I'm sorry but I just can't seem to stop thinking about this wonderful new man. Believe me, it has nothing to do with his money, power, or prestige, as those do nothing for me. NOPE! It DOES have everything to do with his intelligence and unbelievable wit. I'm sorry but that's an incredibly sexy and deadly combination. Don't believe me, see him in action for yourself and judge. Is he not the sexiest man alive? I'll bet you'll agree. Brad Pitt and George Clooney have NOTHING on him. Besides, we both have the same political inclinations and we are both multi-faceted media people.

But back off ladies (and this means you Tammi, and you, and you, and you too Jane!), 'cause I lay a claim to this man and he's mine! Mine, MINE, MINE I tell you!!!

Posted by: Michele at 11:11 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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This was sent to me by someone trying to cheer me up. Its Tony Blair covering one of my favorite songs by The Clash - Should I stay or should I go in regards to his deciding to run for office in 2008. Thanks Derek, humor is indeed the best medicine. It made me smile and it made me chuckle. Thanks!

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For those of you anostics/gentiles/heathens who have always wondered what happense at a Passover seder/dinner, here's the humorous abridged version to enlighten you.

One of my favorite yummy passover treats (yes, my brain knows I'm not Jewish, but my tummy doesn't) which I used to make for my elderly neighbor & co-workers from time, was cocunut macaroons. I made a batch last night, with my son's help, using a recipe from the Barefoot Contessa cookbook noted below, that also happened to be online.¹

I needed the online version to send my co-workers the link, who threatened me with bodily harm (after eating my macaroons) if I didn't share the recipe with them by tonight. A word of caution: these babies are sinfully delicious because they commit major transgression against all nutritionally sound principles.

My favorite Easter dish and recipe will be posted later on today. Okay, now it's your turn to share with me, what's your favorite Passover/Easter dish?

1. Barefoot Contessa Family Style 2002 Clarkson Potter/Publisher

Posted by: Michele at 08:58 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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1 The Easter Basket!!!! I give up Chocolate for Lent so by the time Easter roles around everybody knows not to get between me and the Easter basket!!!!!!!

Posted by: Quality Weenie at April 05, 2007 07:31 AM (BksWB)

2 Hmmmm... I just searched my site for my version of macaroons - less meringue-y and drizzled with chocolate ganache. Apparently I've never posted it, being a semi-secret recipe and all. Any kind of macaroon is heavenly. Try adding some finely diced dried pineapple to the mix before baking.

Posted by: Ted at April 05, 2007 11:36 AM (blNMI)

3 OMG! That sounds heavenly!

Posted by: michele at April 05, 2007 01:01 PM (Ijane)

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Mark got so upset over some comments left by munuvians & bloggers on his website that he posted all their personal information (full name, home addy, tel. number and place of emplyment along with their address) on his site as a way to retaliate. Doesn anyone know how to contact Blogger Officials to have his site taken down?

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Still recuperating from laryngitis, pharyngiitis, and a mild case of bronchitis. Now that I'm able to keep food down, I'm as hungry as an elephant. Last night I dreamed of coconut macaroons and potato pancakes with apple sauce again. I'm salivating from just writing that! Must leave to forage for food. For now I leave you with some funny stuff, Calvin style.

Posted by: Michele at 10:39 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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1 Oh how I love Calvin and Hobbs! ) Hope you are feeling MUCH better!

Posted by: Lemon Stand at April 01, 2007 06:55 PM (TtsA5)

2 That is one of my favorites!!! Thanks for posting it.

Posted by: vw bug at April 02, 2007 07:17 AM (kwlb/)

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I've been experiencing software glitches for the past FOUR DAYS, which has left me with no net service or email. Every day I've called tech support only to receive minor fixes to some problems and no overall solutions. Below is a short, somewhat humorous video, of what I've been experiencing. Of course, tech support is the least of my problems, but more on that later.

Posted by: Michele at 09:17 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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These are the kind of antics I woke up to this morning.

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1 I love C&H. Sorry to see that's how your day is going.

Posted by: wRitErsbLock at February 25, 2007 03:42 PM (0Pi1o)

2 I miss Calvin and Hobbes. In fact, my old C&H books have started falling apart, so I tape up the pages in the bathroom at work. If I go for a few days w/o putting any up, the teachers stop me in the halls and ask for more.

Posted by: Mrs. Who at February 25, 2007 08:33 PM (9FXen)

3 I can't believe I missed this C & H! I did notice, however, that B & N have this HUGE hardcover tome of ALL the Calvin and Hobbs. I am saving my pennies. )

Posted by: Lemon Stand at February 26, 2007 01:48 PM (WTE2S)

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Update: I thought I felt better. It was my body playing a trick on me! For some good clean halloween jokes (for all ages) please visit Daz'd & Confused.

I'm still home sick with the Flu... oh joy!

I hope all of you enjoy scaring the stuffin out of each other. I've been home all weekend with my little pumpkin (that's one of my pet names for him) who had the flu and is now better.

Hope it's a fun day!

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Because I can never refuse a request from a handsome military man, who works tirelessly defending our country and protecting it's citizens, I'm publishing a couple of jokes that got me in trouble yesterday.

Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter, ten men and one woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one has to leave, otherwise they are all going to fall. They were not able to name that person, until the woman held a very touching speech.

She said that she will voluntarily let go of the rope, because as a woman she is used to giving up everything for her husband and kids, or for men in general, without ever getting anything in return.

As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping their hands.......

There's more jokes in the extended entry. Afterwards go congratulate the good Sgt. on his upcoming achievement of his half millionth visitor.
more...

Posted by: Michele at 02:45 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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When participating in a global teleconference from your desk, don't ever visit humorous sites, especially VW's Humor for Dreaded Wednesday. If you absolutely must visit, please remember to MUTE your phone! Otherwise the conference host just might ask you to share the humor with the group.

UPDATE: Another important reminder: When sitting on teleconferences back to back make sure that you GO TO THE BATHROOM before signing on to your next meeting, otherwise it will be another hour before you can go. Your co-workers will definitely not appreciate seeing a puddle beneath your seat.

Posted by: Michele at 09:33 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Over 2 years ago I told a funny story about using a phrase whose meaning was shifted in translation because of the country that I was working in at the time. Well, it seems that I've done it again. Only this time with a work colleague. I really meant to be helpful and spare him a bit of embarrassment as we stood there in the pantry. Well, it seems that in giving him a private message in French, a language virtually no one else on our floor spoke, I said something that in colloquial French meant something slightly different. So while I tried to tell him that his zipper was undone, I said instead 'I'd like to undo your zipper'. Sigh!

Sometimes I think I should just stick to English, IÂ’d definitely do better.

Posted by: Michele at 03:07 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Because I like to share the laughter I'm sharing this true item with you. This little gem came to my inbox this morning in one of my State Dept. briefings. I think its an unbelievably funny story you'll love.

US President George Bush will host White House talks with Kazakhstan President Nursultan Nazarbayev when he visits the US next month. On the agenda is British comedian Sacha Baron Cohen.

It seems that Cohen, 35, creator of Ali G, has infuriated the Kazakhstan government with his portrayal of Borat, a bumbling Kazakh TV presenter. Cohen scheduled movie release of BoratÂ’s adventures in November has caused a major diplomatic incident.

President Nazarbayev has confirmed his government will buy "educational" TV spots and print advertisements about the "real Kazakhstan" in a bid to save his countryÂ’s reputation before the film is released in the US in November. President Nazarbayev will visit the White House and the Bush family compound in Maine when he flies in for talks that will include the fictional character Borat.

To understand what the hoopla is all about (and to get a few chuckles in the process) please view the trailers for the movie (see worksafe trailer 1 below and trailer 2).

Let me know what you think about the trailers. Should Bush waste his time on this or not?

Yes, I'm feeling better thanks to the support I've received and the humorous items I get in the mail. Enjoy!

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After a busy and grueling week IÂ’m looking forward to some weekend fun starting today. Summer to me means sun, sand, surf, and turf in the form of soccer and baseball fields. I got my World Cup soccer fix in July and tonight IÂ’m getting my baseball monkey off my back by seeing my AMAZINÂ’ Mets live (as opposed to sitting on the couch)! In case you didnÂ’t know, the Mets have the best record in the NL and leads Philadelphia by 13 games in the East. WOOOOOOHOOOOOO!

Mets, how much do I love thee? In college I got my first C for thee! During class my professor caught me on several occasions listening to the game via my walkman's earpiece. Sigh!

Anyway, I wanted to leave you all with some laughter and a smile so IÂ’m going to point you a bit north for a story that has a Spew Alert Rating of 4. Hey, canÂ’t say I didnÂ’t warn ya!

May you all have an incredibly wonderful and life affirming weekend!

Posted by: Michele at 12:26 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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What do you give a woman who has everything? A woman who is funny, thoughtful & sweet, sexy, an incredible cook (so I've been told), a great conversationalist (I've had the priviledge of talking with her), who can make the darndest frown turn upside down?

I've spent the last 24 hrs asking myself that question every spare moment I've had. I saw that AWTM gave her Beckham, the most brilliant soccer player on the planet. Then I ran into Oddybobo and saw that she gave him a NYC Firefighter and Leslie's Omnibus gave her some Beefcake. So just as I was about to give up the light bulb went on. That's it... that's it... NY Firefighters, Beefcake, I can give her an incredible cheesecake. I'll give her a very unique cheesecake photo she'll not soon forget, and might even pin up. I'm giving her something she can only find in NY, and to go along with that lucsious photo a very tall, very cool drink.

So here it is darlin', your presents: >>>>>>> more...

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IÂ’ve had to travel by plane for meetings these past 2 days. Now that IÂ’m a single mom I donÂ’t like flying as much for the obvious reasons. I have a colleague who tries to make me feel better about these trips by using humor. Below is the email I received prior to my departure early this morning.
more...

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Do you have Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia? Just in case you don't know, that is the fear of the number 6 6 6.

Now relax, let me hypnotize you to end that silly fear. Relax and get comfy in front of the screen. If you need to loosen your clothing. Take a deeeep breath and hold it for at least ten seconds exhaling slowly as you reach ten. Take an even deeeeeeeeper breath and repeat the same pattern. As you exhale on your third breath close your eyes. Say to yourself, there's nothing to be afraid of. Imagine yourself floating down into a nice warm room and sitting in a comfy chair. That's right, just let yourself relax with me. Smile and repeat again to yourself, there's nothing to be afraid of. Take another 2 deeeeeep breaths. Now say to yourself that you'll let go of your Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia on the count of three and look forward to the rapture and beauty of another day.

Ready? 1, 2, 3, now you're wide awake and feeling great!

See? It's easy, you don't have to sell your soul to feel better, just get the surrender yourself and your credit card to me and I'll help you get through it! You'll see, or your money back, I guarantee!

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