I'm glad that Mike's death was not in vain.

As I listened to the European and American commentary on the Iraqi elections, I couldn't help but think that all their deaths had some redeeming result: mllions being given the opportunity to become free. What the Iraqis do with that opportunity is now up to them. I pray that something positive comes of it.

The guys at Diplomad have written everything I felt and thought in response to the worldwide commentary, with one exception: I think Teddy Kennedy is a delusional pompous windbag and an ass!

I couldn't stand him when I was in NYC and worked with members of his family on a local level. I couldn't stand him when I was an education reform lobbyist in DC. I still couldn't stand him when I returned to NY after living overseas, and I definitely can't stand seeing or hearing him in the news now. I wish he would just blow up already!

Now there's some transference of anger and grief that's appropriately placed.

Posted by: Michele at 08:33 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Time does not bring relief; you have lied
Who told me time would ease me of my pain!
I miss [them] in the weeping of the rain;
I want [them] at the shrinking of the tide;
The old snows melt from every mountain-side,
And last year's leaves are smoke in every lane;
But last year's bitter loving must remain
Heaped on my heart, and my old thoughts abide!

There are a hundred places where I fear
To go, -- so with [their] memory they brim!
And entering with relief some quiet place
Where never fell [their] foot or shone [their] face
I say, "There is no memory of [them] here!"
And so stand stricken, so remembering [them]!
- Edna St. Vincent Millay, Sonnets II


Sorry Mike, but that's the way I've felt these last 2 days. more...

Posted by: Michele at 10:07 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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On 9-11, as I informed my co-worker on the phone that I was running late and would start the meeting via teleconference from my cell. Asi I made my way to 3 WTC I observed the first plane as it headed straight towards the towers. At that moment, I knew with every fiber of my being that Al Qaeda had succeeded in bringing their Jihad to America.

Although I was horrified at the destruction, I was calm though extremely angry. They had managed to achieve their well touted objective and hit us in the very public and spectacular way they had sworn to do. As I helped people evacuate, I instinctively knew their would be other simultaneous attacks and made them aware of it. Shortly after the towers were hit we got word that the Pentagon was hit. I knew the Congressional bldg, which sits atop a hill, would be an easy mark and probably next. Knowing how this would all play out in Europe, a very small part of me hoped a high profile target would have been hit, such as the Congressional Bldg, because that way there would finally be no doubt in anyone's mind that war had been declared on the US and they had come to our soil to do it.

That day I made a resolve to no longer be politically silent and make a concious effort to educate as many people as I could to the dangers of this Muslim sect, which is now known as Salafism. It was then that the following quote by President Kennedy came to mind:

" Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bare any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe, in order to assure the survival and the success of liberty. This much we pledge and more. "

I started with socio-political email discussion groups, electronic bulletin boards, email distribution lists... anywhere I could post links to let people read stuff on their own so they could be educated on the terror that's been plaguing our shores since the clinton administration. It was my jihad for the friends I lost!

What prompted this entry? My incredible anger with PBS' recent Frontline report on Al Qaeda’s New Front” (view the program online via the link or in a repeat telecast on January 28th) This broadcast was supposed to provide answers on: “Why European Muslims are becoming radicalized; [and] why Americans should be concerned.”

My knee jerk response to their intro: European Muslims turning extremists has been going on since the mid-80's, IT IS NOTHING NEW!

Almost from the start I was infuriated with the Frontline broadcast because I could see how they were laying carefully the bullet points, via statements made by interviewees, bringing up well known facts and intelligence made public within the last 2 years, all to show how the world blames the US led war on Iraq for Al Qaeda's expansion and itÂ’s terror cells going global.

To be fair, they did quote from Al Qaeda's manifesto, which I had already read a partial translation via a site on the web. However, in the past year, at the NETWAR blog of Spanish journalist Juan A. Hervada, I have also linked to other documents which date back several years. Knowing this, I believe Frontline mislead the viewers on more than one occasion. Especially by not pointing out that the manifesto (calling for Jihad against the US) was published online long before the Cole bombing.

A subsequent political treatise or analysis, published by Al Qaeda and quoted by Frontline, indicated that Al Qaeda had analyzed the strength and weakness of the US and itÂ’s allies and points out how Spain, "the weakest link in the chain", would be a perfect terror target to begin destroying the European Union and the European American relations. What Frontline failed to mention was that this document was published online in it's original arabic before the US entered Iraq.

The footage of interviews by members of the Spanish Parliament, along with terrorism experts from France, Italy and extensive quotes from Michael Scheuer, who recently resigned from the CIA after being ‘outed’ as the author of several anonymous books including Imperial Hubris. only served to prove Frontline's point - that terror has gone global since the US set foot in Iraq. WRONG, Bin Laden has been anti-American for over 20 years now!

Frontline's broadcast made me so angry I considered cutting off my financial support of their childrenÂ’s programming. Instead I wrote a letter today to the PBS President, the showÂ’s producerÂ’s and to 2 key members on their National Board making them aware of this show's bias. On their own website it is clear when these documents were available, however, in the broadcast it seems that these were published as a direct result of American troops going into Iraq.

I definitely am glad that people may now be more aware that the Salafist Muslims want Americans of all faiths, and in particular Christians and Jews worldwide, dead; and with us our religious ideology. Yes folks, they want us dead. All of us! You, me, and every member of your extended family. They want us dead as nails, dead as wood. They want Salafists to rule the world once again, as they did once before, for more than the 1000 years, during the middle ages.

For these Salafists, the only true religion is their particular brand of Islam. American, and European moderate Muslims are expendable as they do not observe Salafism, and anyone who does not follow their beliefs will be put to death! These are Not my words, it is theirs. Salafism does not endorse democracy or democratic principles, instead it endorses itÂ’s own brand of totalitarianism which goes against everything we are trying to achieve in Iraq.

DonÂ’t believe me? Do your own research. Start with the links from Frontline and work from there till you get to read Al QaedaÂ’s online manifesto and political treatise on your own. The translations I read were in French and Spanish from 2 independent sources (I wanted to make sure they were accurate). If you wish to read them in that version drop a comment and IÂ’ll pass along the links.

Their words: ‘they will stop at nothing until [we] are all dead’. You owe it to yourself to understand why someday that might come to pass for you or one of your loved ones. At least then, you won't have to wonder and ask why as some of my co-workers still do.

Denial and blinders are powerful tools that only serve Al-Qaeda's purpose. That's the main reason they only strike against us intermittently. They wait for complacency to set in and the Peaceniks to take over the rhetoric on their behalf! They have shown, that when the peace rhetoric dies down it's time for another strike. Well, I for one am not going to go down without a fight. I will fight them much as our forefathers did, with the pen and the rhetoric. I may not be able to yield a gun or a sword in battle, as our brave soldiers are doing, but I can be just as impactful as they terrorists by informing and educating people to their deadly and intollerant religion. Yes, that's my Jihad.

My Jihad is one borne from the ashes of my friends who died in the towers on 9-11, and from the remnants of the destruction they created in my beloved city. This Jihad is one that reflects the values and morals of a country that holds steadfastly to freedom and to all the democratic principles its birthed. This fight, though long from over, is one that I intend to see through to the end.

Posted by: Michele at 10:11 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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As I sit in my cozy warm livingroom watching the inauguration I'm glad that I decided to stAs I sit in my cozy warm living room watching the inauguration I'm glad that I decided to stay home. My old DC connections extended an invitation to all the day's events, but I'm really not a hang out in the cold type of person. That is, unless I'm hiking, skiing. skating or sledding.

I'm off of work for the 2 weeks, both to rest my hands and to get some important things done have lots of things planned and lots of things in the air. I hope all the things I want to accomplish get done.

Part of me wishes I could do more for the Tsunami victims, but my present lifestyle no longer permits me to take a short leave and go to work for the relief agencies I used to work for. My responsibilities as a single mom of an adorable and demanding 5 year old require me to remain home. One of the things that I'll be doing is running a workshop here for new relief workers that will be going overseas and helping them understand what to expect there both culturally and emotionally. Unfortunately, I am uniquely qualified to share on what it feels like to lose everyone you love in an instant and how Post Traumatic Stress disorder has manifested itself in my life these past 3 in a half years.

Life is easier now. My grief, like an old friend, remains close bye. It especially hangs close during special days when the absence of my friends is felt most. There's always a brief respite from January through April, and for that I'm grateful.

I'm finally back to writing in my journals, which has helped enormously to restore my inner peace over the past few months. Since, I've had to remain offline for awhile, writing in my journals helps release some of those thoughts that I would have posted on this blog.

So I've taken up photography again as another form of expression. My old 35 mm Nikon is a constant but heavy companion. An old familiar friend thatÂ’s been with me for over 15 years. I've parked my digital camera because it involves the PC and I promised my doctor that I would limit my use to once every 3 weeks. I love to take pictures in Central Park on snowy days. Part of me wishes I could post them online but I have to be good for now. Sigh!

IÂ’ve been missing my online friends and family. Today I was able to visit everyone and say high to a few. It was nice to see that my blog dad is still up to his old antics. I smiled at the eye candy he linked to (thanks!). IÂ’m still annoyed with Vigo since I saw him sporting his No Blood for Oil t-shirt over a year ago.

Well, I miss you all too! Thanks to all who have stopped by to wish me well. Your wishes and notes are greatly appreciated. Hope to read you all soon!

Posted by: Michele at 03:48 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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This entry was written on Christmas day 2004 and posted today.

2004 General Predictions that came true:

• Republicans would gain control of Congress.
  
• Michael MooreÂ’s movie would cause an anti-liberal backlash.
  
• Al Qaeda would rear itÂ’s ugly head more forcefully in the Middle East and would expand itÂ’s targets to also kill Muslims.
  
• In September I predicted that Dan Rather and Tom Brokaw would announce their retirement by yearÂ’s end.
  
• There would be record numbers of voters casting ballots in this yearÂ’s election.
  
• Most of BushÂ’s cabinet would leave if he was re-elected except for Rumsfeld.

General Predictions for 2005:

• The Iraqi elections will be one of the bloodiest pre-election periods you have ever seen.
  
• Bush will have his brother Jeb gain more prominence by appointing him to head up task forces or committees.
  
• Popular bloggers will cut back on frequency of blogging seeking to return to experience life in real time rather than blogging about lifeÂ’s potential experiences.
  
• Bush will try to appoint a quasi-conservative judge to the Supreme Court and win.
  
• Viewers will become tired of reality shows and viewer ratings will reflect this.
  
• The economy will go back to the bullish place we were at prior to 9/11.
  
• We will have a mild winter followed by a very hot summer in the northeast.

Personal Wishes for 2005:

For the first time in my life I couldn’t think of any wishes for an upcoming year other than good health, much happiness, inner peace and prosperity. Every year for the past 19 years I’ve made a formal list, a sort of goals for the year. For the first 15 of those years I always managed to make most of my wishes come true. Even in 2001 I managed to have more than half my list fulfilled prior to 9/11. Since then my lists are simpler and shorter. This year, some my list is not about anything I want or need. I’m at a place where what I would truly want – my friends to be alive – is something that I’ve come to terms with. I’ve accomplished all but 4 things that I wanted to accomplish with my life. The list was long when I started out. I no longer want material possessions or status. Unbelievably this year has been about letting go of my grief and learning to live again, this time without my friends who were there for my 19 years. I am finally at a place of peace. Although, there are two wishes that I know my deceased friends would want for me:

• for me to make new friends
  
• for me to find love again

As for my focus, this year I have humbler yet more complex expectations: