July 30, 2005
1. Life is sexually transmitted.
2. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
3. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich!
4. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
5. Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
6. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
7. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
8. Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars, but a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
9. In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
10. AND THE # 1 THOUGHT FOR 2005:
We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.
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14. (source: Beliblog)
Having a partner that's considerate enough NOT to answer a phone during sex?
Priceless
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July 29, 2005
Yay I say, for British Police, Scotland Yard and my fellow countrymen who helped apprehend the 4 bastards who didnÂ’t get to blow themselves. I was first alerted to the arrests when a colleague of mine cancelled a teleconference we had scheduled due to police activity in the financial district where he works.
In checking the London Times online I read the account of the arrests and how they tried to coax these bastards out of the flats. It was then I began to create elaborate revenge fantasies for these 4. To hell with their rights. In this I want the old West kind of JusticeÂ… no wait, worse than that. As I entertained different ways of handling retribution my way, all of the scenes in my head seemed too bloody unsatisfying.
In discussing the arrests with one of my neighbors this evening she shared with me what she would like to see happen, To start, “Tazer electrodes should be shot directly into and attached deep in their testicles. Metallic clamps should then be applied to their nipples that connect with metal wires to the metal rods on their testicles.” [cringe.. shiver... now we’re getting somewhere!]. She continued, “After a light mist has been sprayed on their bodies, they should be strapped at the neck, arms, wrists and legs to a table so they’re unable to move when the electodes are activated at different intensities and for different lengths of time. They should do this in order to enhance the terror and anticipation of their next shock. Only after a few hours of this should the interrogation begin. One hour of torture should be given for each bombing death; only then will I be happy.”
Yes, now IÂ’m satisfied!
As for my neighbor, I just kept looking at her as she walked away with a satisfied smile. There has always been something that has both intrigued and terrified me about this woman. ItÂ’s the reason IÂ’ve held back from asking her out. As I touched my chest on the elevator going up to my flat I wondered if her fantasy could be modified slightly to provide pleasure instead of inducing pain. Hmmm, something to discuss the next time I run into her.
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July 28, 2005
Posted by: Michele at
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In this case, I was eager to start, but was obviously going though a moment of premature typing. You know what premature typing is, don't you? I'm sure some of you have experienced it at one time or another. It's when your fingers work faster and more furiously because they're directly connected to your subconcious brain, and it's doing it so fast that the censory part of your brain doesn't get a chance to edit. Well, "but" is what came out of my fingertips, when what I meant to write was: I've got the blogging bug!
Actually, I already have a list of things I'd like to post about, but that will have to be deferred until I take care of some important business here first. Before I embark on those I have 2 things which I must take care of publicly, as that's how I committed my first Blogging Sins, publicly. Michele tried to warn me about them ahead of time but the arrogant person that I am, I got carried away with my eagerness, enthusiasm and what she calls my "attention whoring tendencies".
In fact, it was a colleague who pointed out that I owe her a big apology for the following sins:
- unwelcome public lechery above and beyond what is acceptable
- humor at the expense of a kind and unsuspecting host
- non-consensual and descriptive disclosure of items relating to her/our jobs
- judgemental statements to someone who has only been fun, kind and sweet and who has broadened my horizons
I am also writing this here, because I have not been able to get in touch with M directly, and she's not been at work. I arrived too late Tuesday night to meet with her (another of my sins), so she must now think I'm a terrible cad.
M, please know that I'm profoundly sorry for my ineptitude, overeager, careless and virginal blogging transgressions. I will now go and spend some time finishing Harvey's blogging tips archive as you suggested.
To all my commenters, in particular the impressive Contagion, I will stop by soon to visit. But first, excuse me while I go to my room and and give myself a good whacking for all my transgressions.
Posted by: 1Colin at
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Colin, if you can master these simple steps as you begin, then youÂ’re well on your way to blog heaven, where you get into a mode where itÂ’s love and nothing but love of blogging. In considering you as I write this, I can safely say it will perhaps be the best relationship youÂ’ll ever have because it will be: on your terms, under your control, and at the level of passion and intensity that depends solely on your effort and level of enthusiasm. The reader just has to sit there, and whether they yawn or not depends on your style and content, which is another matter entirely.
1. The title’s the thing – its your hook – whether you come up with it first, last or in the middle, the key thing about the title is that you entice or seduce your reader into lingering on the page, without fully revealing your position or opinion on something or the outcome of the post. Titles that are Humorous, Mysterious and Witty are surefire hooks.
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July 26, 2005
From your comments I can see that some of you are not above a little prurient reading. And a few of you, whom wrote to me directly, spotted my affinity for the Stones. I must confess, my overall preference is for classic rock of the late 60's through pop rock of the early 90's.
Well, as you can see, thereÂ’s been no major changes to the site in the last 48 hrs, but the night is still young, and I've been known to accomplish much in very little time. Although M [my pet name for Michele] gave me carte blanche with the site (quite trusting isnÂ’t she? I wonder if she's that way with everything?), I think IÂ’ll keep things as they are for awhile. The only thing IÂ’ll perhaps add is a few pints of Guinness, to give a little color to the place. I know she wonÂ’t mind.
I promised you 2 things, that I would tell you a bit about myself, and that I would tell an interesting story about Michele. more...
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July 24, 2005
Pleased to meet you...Colin is my name! Bet what's puzzling you is the nature of my game.
more...
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July 22, 2005
- A man was shot today in a London subway station who was believed to be a terrorist
- The same Al Qaeda related organization who claimed responsibility for London's bombing on the 7th claimed responsibility for yesterday's bombing.
- 14 of the 16 provisions in the Patriot Act were indefinitely extended. The two remaining articles- giving the government the power to demand business and library records and to conduct roving wiretaps - were extended only 10 years. The Senate is working on their own version.
The city is under heavy criticism from the ACLU & NYCLU and threatening an injunction to stop the searches. However, their first day of inspections netted an arrest of a man acting suspiciously who possessed a cache of weapons.
The House version of the Patriot Act essentially leaves intact many of the antiterrorism powers that critics sought to scale back. This now sets the stage for some difficult negotiations with the Senate, which is considering several very different bills to extend the government's counterterrorism powers under the act.
Of course, Hillary was unusually quiet during yesterday's Patriot discussion and last week's Senate vote which increased the surveillance component of the act. Carolyn Miller, on the other hand, was one of the more eloquent proponents of passing indefinitely all the provisions of the House version of the Patriot Act. I wish she were a Representative here in NY instead of Michigan!
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July 21, 2005
BBC: Latest London bombing
CNN: 4 new blasts affect London transit.
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July 20, 2005
In this case it was the City of New London Connecticut. What was going to be built on her property and that of her neighbors that required her eviction from her long time home? A nice big INDUSTRIAL park!
So, yes Virginia, they can take that away from you and the Supreme Court Justices said so. I wonder what they were smoking or what drugs they were on when they rendered THAT decision? Still don't care or don't think that Bush's nominee is at all important to you. Then go read Stephen Bainbridge's article at Tech Central Station on the significance of this vote and how the 5-4 vote played out. This article explains the situation quite well and succintly all in nice English and not legalese.
Essentially, the Majority of the Justices felt that "local officials know how to best help their own cities" Yes folk your elected politicians can vote today to have your home taken away and tomorrow, when they're out of office and work for the very developers, and live in the very development, over the land that was once your property. Don't think that can happen? That's exactly what did happen in Passaic New Jersey and the Supreme Court now says it's all perfectly legal!
Feel strongly about this, then go to Hold the Mayo and read the petition which Stephen Macklin and others have forged. It's now available for online signing and endorsement, through the link below. Update: the petition has been relocated to a new site. The link below will get you there.
Posted by: Michele at
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July 18, 2005
On the stiff twig up there
Hunches a wet black rook
Arranging and rearranging its feathers in the rain.
I do not expect a miracle
Or an accident
To set the sight on fire
In my eye, nor seek
Any more in the desultory weather some design,
But let spotted leaves fall as they fall
Without ceremony, or portent.
Although, I admit, I desire,
Occasionally, some backtalk
From the mute sky, I can't honestly complain,
A certain minor light may still
Lean incandescent ...
Of whatever angel any choose to flare
Suddenly at my elbow. I only know that a rook
Ordering its black feathers can so shine
As to seize my senses, haul
My eyelids up, and grant
A brief respite from fear and pain,
and grant total neutrality. With luck,
Trekking stubborn through this season
Of fatigue, I shall
Patch together a content
Of sorts. Miracles occur.
If you care to call those spasmodic
Tricks of radiance
Miracles. The wait's begun again,
The long wait for the angel,
For that rare, random descent.
-- Sylvia Plath
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July 15, 2005
Its been an emotionally challenging week for me all around. Last night I accepted an invitation to go out to one of my single parentÂ’s friendÂ’s beach house in the HamptonÂ’s this weekend. IÂ’m the only one in the office today and have been told to leave at 2pm. An enormous wave of relief washed over me at hearing this. I desperately need to commune w/nature and create a mind shift within me that will enable me to get through next weekÂ’s schedule of events at my job.
I want to do nothing this weekend but bury my feet in the sand as I watch sun sets, sun rises and listen to the meditative force of the waves as they come in. That and build lots of sand castles with my son. I hope all of you enjoy your weekend plans.
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July 13, 2005
My grandmother was my saving grace. I had stopped writing her letters and she decided to visit one weekend to see what was going on. While there she saw the kind of tension and bickering I was enduring and decided I was to return with her. It was the best thing she ever did for me that summer. It was the first summer ever where I truly tasted what being independent was all about.
Since she lived in the country all the commercial stores, what few they had, were very far away. Every evening she would come up with an errand for me to do after I finished my chores. As I was leaving, she would give me her blessing and tell me not to hurry back and to go out and have some adventures to tell her after dinner. My exploration of the countryside taught me how to love nature in it's unadulterated form.
On my expeditions I would bring a canvas military bag with a canteen of water, a pocket knife, a magnifying glass and a small pencil and notebook. While on my expedition I would pick deliciously ripe fruit (which was plentiful) and sit either by the river or on the side of the road to eat my bounty. Along the way I'd either sketch or write some fanciful story to share with my grandmother during our after dinner conversation, usually while she crocheted or did needle point. She didn't have a TV, she always said it stifled creativity and dulled the senses and the social graces. Now looking back and hearing how all my co-workers talk is some episode on a reality TV show, I see that she was right.
more...
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Many sad tears fall,
as the ethereal evaporates
into the thinness that was before.
Illusions, dreams, and hopes,
all leave as quickly as they came
with the same unabashed desire
that came knocking at my heart.
All are gone now, with a quiet whisper.
All are gone now, to return no more.
I only have one phrase of comfort for her: it is better to have known love and loss, than never to have known true love at all.
Posted by: Michele at
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July 12, 2005
I was visiting my mom this weekend when my son began not feeling well. 4 days later I'm still here. My son has been too sick to travel, requiring round the clock care.
Just when I thought he was OK & I could get a few hours of sleep, at 3am today his fever spiked to 104 and he started to throwup eveywhere. Lovely! It's a good thing I have a stong stomach.
So the exhaustion leaves me unable to think & with a constant headache. Blogging will resume once life gets back to normal.
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07:13 AM
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July 09, 2005
"What is our aim?... Victory, victory at all costs,
victory in spite of terror; victory,
however long and hard the road may be;
for without victory, there is no survival."
- Winston Churchill
A big thank you goes to Laughing Wolf for his post. Please leave all comments at his site. Thanks!
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July 08, 2005
After spending last night waiting to hear about my British colleagues, I learned a short while ago that 2 of them were badly injured. I am now angry as all hell. I think ArmyWifeToddlerMom has the right idea by posting each week what she has done to help fight terrorism. What I did yesterday was contact a few British Bloggers, friends and coworkers to lend my support. I also contacted a few bloggers and friends in Madrid, knowing they too would be reliving memories of their own bombing as they watched the tragedy unfold in London.
Today I will continue to focus on work and help prepare my boss for some high level economic meetings she will have in DC shortly after G8 talks end. Some of the material has to do with global debt and loans, etc., which brings me to my own personal opinion about debt forgiveness of some developing nations, which is currently being discussed at the g8 summit.
My view is that we should not forgive debt of countries whose leaders are corrupt embezzlers and thieves. Government officials who are lining their pockets through the sale of their country's resources and appropriating portions of aid and loans, rather than using that money to help develop sustainable economic growth and improvements in medical care for their people.
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July 07, 2005
Today, after learning the news of the explosions my stomach notted up, I had some momentary flashbacks and my thoughts immediately went to my colleauges in London who use the Kings Cross Station to go to work.
Part of me dreads seeing the names on our corporate website, for the reminder it poses after 9/11, but part of me has the need to know that everyone I know is safe. That doesn't mean I don't care about the rest of the population. For me dealing with a tragedy is easier when there is no connection to friends or family. More later, I have to leave for work and get on the subway.
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Update: It took me an hour to get to work instead of the usual 30min. I work with WTC survivors, so theirs was a quiet somber mood most of the day. Because I'm a single mom and have a young son, I was encouraged to leave early so I could pick him up and work from home, avoiding the anticipated rush hour delays. I thought that was really thoughtful. It seems that a lot of people had the same idea, as the train stations wer very crowded at 3:30pm.
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July 06, 2005
So at age 3 and a half, I composed a list of what were his responsibilities (like putting toys away, brushing his teeth, putting dirty clothes in the hamper). So that he could remember and get used to things he needed to do to be responsible for himself. Then a few weeks later I introduced the concept of rewards, like ice cream for dessert (we normally didn't have dessert back then) for his extra help around the house like setting the table. After 2 months I introduced the concept of receiving money or an allowance for chores he would agree to do that were outside of his area of personal responsibilities. I also explained and showed him what doing a good job was and how if it was done well he would get a full allowance.
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