<br><b>A continual dialogue on life with my friends who died on 9/11, a few

April 29, 2006

FACING THE PAST WHILE MOVING TOWARDS THE FUTURE

A friend once told me, "Its important to look back at our history, especially personal history, because it leads to understanding the truth, your place within it and leads to your personal enlightenment." Its the search for the truth which makes me glad to see the film United 93 in theaters shortly.

Unlike most New Yorkers, I welcome the opening of United 93. Whenever I share this point of view with co-workers I get many shocked looks. Most New Yorkers prefer not to look at our past. They say to me with angst in their voice and fear in their eyes Â“its too soonÂ” or Â“why revisit the past?Â” I look at them and know the pain that lurks beneath the surface. It's the same denial people chose in 1993 in order to forget that bombing of the World Trade Center. It's this denial that caused the death and destruction of the WTC 7 years later.

The absolute truth is that its not too soon. In fact, its long overdue and an important film for all to see. Especially as the body count climbs in Iraq and gasoline prices soar in the US and elsewhere, causing many to get angry and look for someone to blame. Not knowing any better they blame our Government and not the oil producers who have held us hostage before. Sadly, an increasing number of people around the world are starting to believe many of the conspiracy . theories . surrounding 9/11 that are being circulated about.

We who lived through the death and destruction of 9/11, who had our lives impacted by the smells of charred flesh and saw the smoldering office furniture and building materials burning for weeks afterwards know differently. Even if most donÂ’t want to take a look at the past, they cannot deny that 9/11 happened.

For others, the showing of United 93 and the upcoming Oliver Stone movie World Trade Center, will force Americans to examine not only their beliefs surrounding 9/11, but also examine their politics and their position on the War in Iraq. I welcome the showing of this movie because it illustrates what happened to all of us on that beautiful clear blue morning. The truth is there, in the words, sounds and images that were taken directly from Emergency 911 recordings, conversations and voice mail messages left for loved ones, and from the FAA recordings of that day. Absent will be the rhetoric, the slants, the spins, of those who would subvert the truth and history for their own purpose.

I hope this film is seen by everyone, as a reminder for those who have forgotten or have placed blame elsewhere for why this war started. As a reminder for Americans especially, who are bitching at the high price of oil, and blaming anyone other than themselves for the current dependency we find ourselves in. A dependency with the very people who have a seething hatred for our way of life and principles, and who have financially supported and exported terrorism to our land and others.

I hope, no I pray United 93 causes movie goers to finally take a look at the facts so they can finally see, that Al Qaeda's multi-phase launch of their war agains us, of which the World Trade Center was the beginning of Phase 2 (with the aim to ultimately eradicating Americans and our culture from the face of the earth), has been successful.

I welcome the opportunity for the truth to be examined - historically, politically and critically. IÂ’m just sorry that it takes a movie to re-awaken American's dormant political and ideological spirit, to the historical facts of what really happened that day.

And if you are unable or unwilling to take a look at the past, then rest assured, "Those who fail to examine history are doomed to repeat it."¹

Posted by: Michele at 10:25 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Past 2 months

The living part of life these past 2 months has not been easy. The advent of multiple losses, which began with the death of my best friend in February and ended with the death of my step-father a few weeks ago, made me miss greatly the support of my close friends all the more. To feel close to them I went to St. PaulÂ’s Cemetery (which faces Ground Zero) before it closes for renovation. I did this not only to reflect back on those early days of 9/11 before the landscape changes, but also to have a heart to heart with my dearly departed friends. Betsey, our best friend and mentor for over 20 years, was lucky not to have been there on 9/11. On that fateful day she was undergoing her first chemotherapy treatment far away from the WTC. In February, she finally lost her battle and joined our beloved friends in heaven.

Several months after 9/11 Betsey asked me to write down my account of that day, providing as much detail as I could possibly. Later when it was still hard for me to talk about my grief she asked me to write a series of letters to all my friends and colleagues who died that day. As a psychologist who specialized in trauma, she thought that writing about it would be cathartic. As a writer and published author, she knew it would help exorcise my demons and help express my grief.

On the day she was to read my story she decided to take me out in a row boat in the middle of Central Park. When I asked her why she simply smiled and explained it was a metaphor I would understand later on.

This week I finally understood the metaphor. But this post is not about getting the metaphor or its meaning. Instead itÂ’s about how grateful I am for having had her in my life and for her friendship. In looking back I realize that through these past 4 years her patience, love and guidance helped me heal and overcome the devastating losses I experienced through out my life, not just during 9/11.

Though I miss her greatly, I know she is in a much better place.

As for me, I don't know if I'm back or when I'll write again. What I do know is that this blog is a place for healing for me, so I'll never really be gone. I don't even know if I'll allow comments and trackbacks. It's not that I don't welcome them, it's that when I'm not actively online spammers lay insult to injury with their garbage by inundating my inbox. So keep my life simple and sane I am closing them for now.

This week has been especially hard as I've had to take my son to the emergency twice due to complications from Strep, asthma, allergies and a high fever that won't go away. So while there, I've had time to think, reflect and visit you all through my cellphone. I'm grateful you're all there and I'm grateful your lives bring so much needed humor into my life. And I say that in a good way.