Last night I went out with some members of my parent's group and a few of their friends. It was an interesting night as I got to meet some nice new people. I seldom get the opportunity to meet new people as my life and circle of interaction is very small. Of course with my new job that's all about to change.

Anyway, by the end of the evening we were pretty much split up into 2 groups: the creative and the normies. One thing that did bind us all together is our desire to continuously improve our relationships with the children in our lives, whether son/daughters or nieces/nephews.

Well, as I promised last night, here's the links to the posts of other bloggers I talked about, and to what some of you saw/judged as my controversial family and house rules.

As I said during our heated discussion: "my family and house rules are guided by my personal values" and should be viewed as such. They were wonderfully for me as these are the only rules my son has known. Hope they helps those that care to read them!

- My House and Family Rules
- Penseur's post: The Girl Child cannot clarify
- Penseur's post: Girl Child conversations
- Boudica's post: Like Mother Like Son
- Boudica's post: Am I Sheltering Too Much?
- Custos Honor's post: Kids and the Media

Posted by: Michele at 10:50 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 240 words, total size 2 kb.

I've had to mediate my leavetaking and separation between two warring factions: my new [Zoe] and old employer [Belzebub]. I think it would be easier if they didn't know each other socially and in business, but at their level the circle is so small that everyone knows everyone else in NY.

So, the past 2 days have been spent with me going in for meetings to wrap things up, pass the baton, finalize reports, and to help my former boss manage her anger and anxiety. Anger w/me for leaving, anger with HR for letting me get away (so she says), anger w/the dept. OM for not managing things better, the list goes on. So after many phone calls between HR, Zoe and Belzebub, I decided to take over the mediation process from HR, as they were getting know where and instead I was being drawn into the fray as it descended into a playground scene of "she's mine".

more...

Posted by: Michele at 12:05 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 448 words, total size 2 kb.

Update: Random Penseur is another blogger who contemplates the question of friendship, but his exploration focuses on the nature of online friendships. I think his post, as well as his readers comments are a very interesting and worthwhile read. Shall we discuss?

---------------------------------------------------------

This afternoon I stopped by my blog bro, That1Guy's site, over at Drunken Wisdom and read his post on losing touch with friends. I related so much to his post, but for very different reasons, that it got me thinking on how my own relationships have drastically changed since 9/11.

For one thing, since the death of my friends on that day, I've adjusted my definitions of friend and have established a criteria for those people who think IÂ’m their friend, when in truth we are less than that. To that group I am a friend because IÂ’m available to talk when they call and IÂ’m able to help when they need something from me. This is really hardly a reciprocal relationship. In my book, reciprocity is an important element of friendship.
more...

Posted by: Michele at 12:00 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 862 words, total size 5 kb.

When given the choice between hearing the good or bad news first, I usually ask to hear the bad news first. That way when the good news is given, it will hopefully soften the blow of the bad news or eliminate the sting altogether.

So the bad news first. This was news I actually received over 6 months ago, when I showed up at my university, after trying unsuccessfully to get my diploma through the mail. On that day I was told that the reason requests went unanswered was due to a stop on my record. The stop was placed there because there were 3 classes I needed to complete from my last semester at school.

So my reaction: Impossible, I completed all my coursework. It turns out, after waiting for 3 hrs to meet with the Chair of the English Dept., that my professor died before he was able to turn in the semester grades for classes. I was extremely upset on 2 counts! First, that my life was unfairly being turned upside down, as a result of external circumstances, for something that was totally out of my control. Second, that the man who inspired me to pursue a Master's degree in English, and later reccommended me for the English Doctoral Program at CUNY's Graduate Center, had died so abruptly, sadly and alone. Since then, I've been filing academic and other appeals so that I could do the coursework without having to attend classes. Why, my job right now is to fulfill my responsibilities as a single-mom.

Late Friday I learned that my last appeal had been denied. Which in essence means that since I was in an accelerated combined BA/MA Honors program, and since the courses I had been taking were to complete both my undergrad & grad requirements, I would remain without degrees until I re-enrolled, paid back the scholarship money I was given to take those classes in the first place, then pay over $5,000 in tuition fees to take the new classes, successfully complete the damned courses, and then refile for accreditation to see if I am then eligible to graduate with the combined BA/MA degree. That just sucks bigtime!

One of the suggestions I was given by one of the administrators was for me to put my child in daycare (till 9:00pm) 3 nights a week, so that I could quickly finish my degrees in one semester. There were many expletives that were unsaid and will remain unwritten, though the thought of sharing it (full force) with them was very tempting. To say that I'm angry is to do my rage an injustice. I have been considering my next steps, but I felt that I needed to sit, vent, think, evaluate and then decide on the best course of action, after consulting a lawyer.

As for the good news... the first is that my son did extremely well in his scholastic test, which means that we have 4 schools from which to choose. The second is that I received an offer for the job I really wanted. Yay on those two counts, and on the third... I can finally stop interviewing! So it took me a total of 9 weeks from when I started making phone calls, to when I'm supposed to be starting the new job. I'm both happy and relieved, though it still doesn't take away from the anger and frustration I've been feeling since Friday over my educational situation. Grrrrr! I do a slow, intense burn everytime I think of it. I think I need to pray for peace of mind and a viable solution.

Posted by: Michele at 12:01 AM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
Post contains 614 words, total size 3 kb.

1 Hip Hip Horray!!! You got the job you wanted! I am so happy to hear that. I am also very happy to hear your son has so many options. That is not good news about your degree. It just doesn't make sense that they are not working with you considering the circumstances.

Posted by: vw bug at June 02, 2005 06:48 AM (V4mW3)

2 Yea for you! Yea for your cutie son! Boo, hiss at the University. Sounds like they know you are right but they sense they can make some money off of this. It might be wise to contact other students of the professor to see what they have done. Also contact a lawyer.

Posted by: Machelle at June 02, 2005 08:43 AM (ZAyoW)

3 Yay!! - Focus on the good.

Posted by: _Jon at June 02, 2005 08:56 AM (ewFgD)

4 Wow, the university thing sucks. I have never heard of anything like that happening anywhere else. I'm sorry you have to go through that. Congrats on your kid. Sounds like you have one sharp minded lad. Watch out for them, they are the ones that can cause the most trouble.

Posted by: Contagion at June 02, 2005 09:02 AM (Q5WxB)

5 I'm with Machelle on this one - contact a lawyer! If you've completed the coursework you should get the credit - that's on their shoulders it doesn't matter if the professor died. You shouldn't have to repay money AND retake the classes!!! ARG - this kind of stuff just pisses me off big time! Anyhow... major congrats on getting the job! And big hugs for your little guy for doing so well on the tests so he has a choice of schools.

Posted by: Teresa at June 02, 2005 09:16 PM (nAfYo)

6 whoo hoo! I'm excited about the job and your boy! You have made so many right choices to get you where you are. As for the university thing, I am speechless. And angry. Puzzled. Horrified. Blech.

Posted by: Boudicca at June 02, 2005 09:45 PM (z7nbM)

7 Congrats on the job and your son! That other business, though.... something isn't right there. Lawyer time, definitely.

Posted by: That 1 Guy at June 03, 2005 12:07 AM (lopGJ)

8 Yay for the good news!!! I'm really happy to hear about the job and the school! I have been checking in periodically, hoping for some good news there. As for the school, I don't know what your options are. And I am in attorney, admitted to practice in NY. I sort of think that any lawyer you contact will require some bucks upfront just to cover the time and research needed to see if you have a claim. Something to keep in mind.

Posted by: RP at June 03, 2005 11:46 AM (LlPKh)

9 I guess I should stop complaining about my issues with Rutgers. The RU screw, as it is called, doesn't seem so bad now. At least I got my degree. Nine weeks? Wow! I have been dealing with one of my potential employers (a university, no less) since the end of March. Their slowness at getting around to things is frustrating. So don't give up! But congrats on the job and I hope things work out well.

Posted by: Charles at June 03, 2005 08:54 PM (ufu0n)

10 I would think there would have to be other students that were effected by the professor's demise. Maybe you could find out who they were and attack together...???

Posted by: TNT at June 05, 2005 09:56 PM (ubhj8)

Hide Comments | Add Comment