October 15, 2006
The turn around began in earnest when I started to receive them; it continued with a long phone call in the middle of the night Friday morning, from a professional comedian friend of mine who read my blog. At around 2am Friday he had just finished a show and decided to call to cheer me up. At one point he had me laughing so hard that I was gasping for air and had tears in my eyes. That helped my outlook Friday and the day went a lot easier and faster. My co-workers also helped by picking up my lunch for me on both Thursday and Friday and helping with anything I needed. IÂ’m grateful that work is slow and it will continue to be that way until election day. By then I should be feeling 100%.
Some of the kids I have mentored in the past stopped by midday yesterday to help with small chores and errands, which made me even more grateful and made me believe that I had an angel looking out for me. Last night, while laying on the couch getting bummed out as I watched my Mets loose horribly, I began getting text messages from several bloggers that I really respect and admire. To one of them I wanted to text “I’m not worthy” but he’s already told me once to cut that out and not go there, so I didn’t. This morning I got a call from the firefighters who worked the rescue with me last Sunday. They were on duty and were checking in on how I was doing. They’re a great group of guys who were also fun to talk to. One of them, who has done 2 tours in Iraq, gave me pointers on what to do about the rescue related nightmares and flashbacks For that bit alone I’m most grateful, because now I have tools to work through some of the challenging stuff that has been going on in my head recently.
In truth, I have felt the same way about all your wonderful comments and messages. They have all been good for the soul; and they have all helped me in one way or another. I still donÂ’t feel much like a hero because I did what any decent abled body human being should do in the same situation. In fact, in NYC itÂ’s a crime not to help someone in need. Sad isnÂ’t it that we need such a law on the books, but there it is. So for today, all thatÂ’s left hurting are from my trapezoids to the base of my skull, which are being treated with some state of the art patches I was given by my orthopedist Friday. They feel good, but I donÂ’t know about wearing these patches on my clothes. I donÂ’t like drawing attention to myself, and well, wearing these over your clothes you canÂ’t help but draw attention to yourself. The good thing is that my suit jacket will cover these things tomorrow AND thereÂ’s no granny smell. I seem to getting tendonitis in both my elbows, but I think my texting to the different people yesterday for a couple of hours has more to do with that than anything else. My calves and hamstrings are no longer cramping and getting spasms, but for the life of me I donÂ’t understand why my glutes are still hurting. All this pain defies comprehension. My orthopedist gave me rational explanations for what happened and found bruises on my back to explain it all. Apparently, I was slammed repeatedly against the rocks and just didnÂ’t realize how hard.
So for today, IÂ’ll just continue relaxing, watching football in the daytime, baseball at night and live in dread of losing the bet to my blog bro Jon. Darn, I really was hoping to overhaul his site. I thought lavender and pink with cute lite airy bubbles would look smashing on his macho site. I even made drawings of what I wanted to do to it too. Guess it was the drug induced cockiness that made me talk of sporting a bathing suit and posting it on my blog for a week if I lost. WHAT WAS I THINKING???!!!!!
Anyway, as you can tell, IÂ’m feeling much better emotionally too. Maybe what IÂ’ll do is post some of the jokes my comedian friend told me once I get clearance from him. They were hysterical and much better than some of the jokes Redneck has been posting at his site. I think he should just stick to fishing advice. He does better at that than his jokes and predictions. BTW, Redneck, that last swipe is so youÂ’ll leave my blog-sis and Michigan alone.
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Tammi had me beat, Choue had me beat, now, Qdub's got me beat. Truth be told, I think she's the closest to beatin' my "prediction". Rivalry games... anything can happen, here or in ash harbor.
Glad you're feelin' better and those patches... aren't they supposed to go on the "skin"? If you where 'em on the outside, I think you clothes get all the pain relief... I'm just sayin'.
Just so you can laugh, I'll drop a shorty on you...
"It was reported that the Michigan Football Coach Lloyd Carr will only be dressing 20 players for the Ohio State game this Saturday...the rest of
the players will have to dress themselves!"
;~October 13, 2006
Although I hurt all over, I'm in excrutiating pain from the middle of my back all the way to the base of my skull. I've already called my two old physical therapists, accupunturist and my massage therapist all who did a great job restoring me back to health after my ski accident, but the earliest any of them can see me is the middle of next week. So I have no choice for now but to wait. My Kingdom for a good pair of strong hands to work on me!
In the mean time, I smell absolutely lovely! Not of lavender & such, but according to my accupuncturist my eau de Tiger-balm & Eucalyptus smell is very enticing to her Ben-gay crowd. On nights like this I am ooooh so glad I am single. Oohhhh wait, I just realized, if I wasnt' I could ask my partner oh so sweetly for a back massage. Oh well, at least I don't have to hear complaints about my overpowering aromatic scent.
But what is really sending me over the edge is learning this evening from the detectives on the case, that this woman - who threw her baby into the water, is now claiming temporary insanity.
She's so lucky to be in protective custody. Really... she is... because had she been within reach tonight I think there would have been a 2nd person claiming that defense after throwing her out her hospital window. For now, I hope she rots in a hell of a cell for the rest of her life, with the smell of the ocean always nearby to remind her every moment of her life of what she did.
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October 11, 2006
I turned to look straight ahead at the road but had no idea where we were because I had never been to that part of Serenity Beach before. All I seemed to know was that we were following the ambulance, heading to the nearest hospital. I would learn everything else once we got there.
Somehow I slipped away once again because the next thing I remember was the fire chief picking me up and carrying me out of the truck and placing me gently on a stretcher in the parking lot. Feeling embarrassed I said weakly: “I… I think I can walk.”
“Not with those nasty cuts on your feet” he said pointing to my bare feet. As I looked down I realized that not only my feet were bare, but that my pants were soaking wet. In fact, my entire body was soaking wet.
“I don’t feel a thing” I said puzzled, looking at myself.
“I’m sure you don’t... you’re suffering from severe hypothermia.” He then turned to the hospital staff that had just met us. He began telling them what had happened as I slowly tuned them out. I remembered that in all the commotion, no one had noticed the cuts on my feet. Not even me.
Once we got inside the warm hospital room I began to shiver uncontrollably. A few short minutes later I started to feel the sharp pinpricks in my hands and legs. Because of my violent shaking I wasn't able to answer any questions. Giving them information would have to wait till later. As the nurses helped me remove my wet pants and running bra, they decided to ask only those questions I could nod my head yes or no to. After awhile, they quietly began taking my vital signs and drawing blood, which allowed my mind to drift once again.
I found myself back at the beach looking at the horizon, moments before I would jump in the water for the 2nd time. I suddenly sat up in bed gasping for air startling everyone in the room. In spite of my uncontrollable shivering I forced myself to ask, "WhatÂ… happenedÂ… toÂ… theÂ… baby?"
Everyone was quiet and after briefly glancing up and exchanging glances between them they continued working, as if they didn't know what I was talking about or didn't understand me. I turned to the fire chief who had just walked into the room and stopped at the foot of my bed.
“They’re working on her right now. “I’ll let you know how she’s doing as soon as I check on her, but for now you need to lay down and let the nurses put the oxygen mask on you and get the iv into your arm.” I looked at the nurse, tubes in one hand, a needle in the other, waiting for me to settle back down on the bed. Stabbing pains kept shooting up my legs with a growing intensity that wouldn’t stop.
The water had been painfully cold when I jumped in. Although I hesitated for a minute, I knew I had no choice as soon as I realized what I was looking at. At first glance I thought it was a loose log from the old pier, but as I stared more intently, I knew it was a woman floating in the water. As I dialed 911, I debated whether or not I should go in. As I took off my jacket, sweatshirt and sneakers I wondered if I had enough energy and strength to pull her to safety, especially having undergone chemotherapy the day before.
The last time I was on that beach I almost lost my life struggling against a strong undercurrent while trying to save a 5 yr old. I was afraid this time I wouldn't be so lucky, and would leave my son an orphan. But then I thought, if it were my son out there I'd want someone to do whatever they could to save him. I prayed out loud as I ran towards and then jumped into the icy water.
Somehow I managed to get her out and pull her onto the sand to began CPR. At the same time I started frantically screaming for help. I hoped that even if no one could hear me at least someone would see me. I prayed hard that help would come soon as my arms were starting to get tired. As luck would have it there was a group of off duty firefighters having a celebration at a nearby restaurant. Within minutes they were at my side. Just as I let go, to let them take over CPR compressions the woman began throwing up and choking.
It was only when she came to and began asking for her baby that the terrible realization gripped me: I never looked for anyone else. As the firefighters and I raced towards the water leaving her in the care of others just arriving I told them where I had found the mother floating in the water. They asked me to climb the rocky pier and do a visual search for the baby. It was only when I got to the end of the rocks that I looked down and saw the babyÂ’s naked body being pushed against the rocks by the waves. As I screamed at the firefighters I realized they had gone too far out and couldnÂ’t hear me over the ocean. I decided IÂ’d have to take a running jump off the rocks to try and avoid them as I went into the water. Then I could swim back to fish the baby out. By my calculations we had already lost 7 minutes and we couldnÂ’t waste any more time.
As I jumped in the firefighters took notice and swam towards me. They met me at the edge of the sand and helped me get out of the water then took the baby from my arms to begin CPR. I took a few steps after them and finally collapsed on my hands and knees, too exhausted to go any further.
Suddenly, there was a hand waving in front of my face: “Ma’am? Ma’am? Can you hear me?” I slowly turned to see who was talking to me and barely nodded my head. The man in the white Dr's coat then asked, “Do you think you can tell us about your medical history?"
I tried saying the words 'Yes', but my teeth were clenched shut from the tightness in my muscles and uncontrollable shaking. I had been half naked in the frigid water too long. I managed to say the word “cell” loud enough for the fire chief to realize I wanted my cell phone. After they stopped trying to convince me that I couldn’t make a call I said the word “ICE”, after which the fire chief produced my phone and looked in my contacts info under ICE. There, aside from my emergency contacts was a memo with the most important facts of my medical history. Once the doc confirmed there was no frostbite, he asked for more blankets and a heater to be brought into my room.
Turning once again to the Fire chief, I said the one word I cared most about at that moment, “Baby?” The fire chief hesitated before answering and that pause made me fear the worst. RSM’s words quickly flashed before my eyes, ‘we lose more than we save’. I was fervently praying for the odds and blessings to be in her favor.
“They’re still working on her, she’s in a coma.” As I heard this tears began streaming down my face, all I could do was ask God to help her. As much as I wanted her to live, I knew she had been in the water far too long. Too long to recover and lead a normal happy life. So I resumed my prayers for either a miraculous recovery or a quick and merciful death. All while remembering the words "the odds are against us".
I just couldn't let go of hope, I was all she had left at the moment rooting for her as her mom had slipped into unconciousness. I had seen the infant as they had taken her from my arms, in spite of the many cuts and bruises on her body, she was a beautiful little girl of about 8 months old. The memory of her wet long blond hair framing her sweet angelic face as I held her, made me finally break down.
It was only when I was released from the hospital that I learned the babyÂ’s name was Brook. The next day I also learned that she got out of her coma long enough to lose her fight and was pronounced dead Monday at 12:15pm.
The incredible pain in my body from the rescue effort, is nothing compared to the overwhelming pain in my heart when I learned from Police Monday night that Brook's mother is being charged with homicide, after admitting she botched their suicide attempt. The overpowering anger at having saved a murderer only adds to the guilt of having failed an innocent helpless child.
Words fail me, as my brain tries to manage understanding all of this. There is very little anyone can say or do to make this loss less painful. I've learned by now that only in time will I begin to accept all of this, even when I don't understand or forgive myself or her mother.
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October 06, 2006
Oh, how I'd love to visit this mountainside once again. But I can't, instead I will have to be content with giving my imagination free reign. Perhaps join Asimov on his favorite plane.
Blood red moons always inspire thoughts of interplanetary travel in hyperspeed space capsules that would enable me to meet odd shaped higher intelligent beings. These interesting creatures/visitors can only communicate telepathically with other sensitive sentient beings.
They are hypersensitive to emotions and extreme environmental conditions. That's why you will only find the few that are visiting us here on earth living quietly somewhere in the Aluteian Islands, blending in with the flora and fauna.
Pray tell, what images or thoughts does the sight of the Blood Moon conjure up in you?
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October 05, 2006
and has that which I hold dearly
all my love for my creativity.
I winced at hearing myself read how awful it was outloud. After a very long pause, her first words were “That’s it? That’s all you’ve got?” She said this in a somewhat weary tone that belied the disappointment and frustration she felt underneath her sweet southern Tennessee accent. Artists have very fragile and insecure egos, so she was very careful in walking the line between former teacher and creative mentor. I knew her well enough not to waste either of our time with vane excuses.
“What else you got? Because I know you, you've probably been sitting down writing and trying to force yourself to come up with something instead of painting or reading or doing something else that might free you up creatively.” She was right. After they cyber attack destroyed my pc and I lost my new poems, I got frustrated and stopped writing, my heart no longer in it. The looming deadline was the only thing that forced back onto a page.
“Well, you better come up with somethin’, ‘cause your name is already in the program and you’re closing the show. Otherwise that silence you hear after your name will be forever owned by you. It will resonate within you for years to come, and you’ll never be able to take it back.” [This is writer speak for disappointed the audience with a creative void. The punishment for such a sin is a deafening silence.]
So after hanging up the phone, I called the sitter and asked her to pick up my son so I could take a very long walk by the river. By the time I stopped and inspiration had struck, I had walked 6 miles. But in the process I found the first few lines for my poem and a back up plan. The theme I was assigned was ‘My Warring Muse’
After a dozen or so false starts, these are the first few lines that IÂ’m finally content with:
AmorÂ… te anoro.
Mi alma busca de nuevo conocer
la sublimidad que es tu ser.
Update: My translation is below
My Love... I long for you.
My soul is searching once again
to know the sublimity that is you.
I think I”ll have enough time to compose a poem. But if I don’t. I won’t be the first one to read a work in progress from a notebook. In the meantime, in the next post you can read my back up plan. A translation I wrote of a Pablo Neruda poem that speaks of the love/hate relationship writers have with their muses.
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I DON”T LOVE YOU... Because I Love you
and from loving you to not loving I arrive
at waiting while not waiting,
all the while, my heart going from ice to fire.
I love only you because it is you I love.
I hate you endlessly and hating plead
to the measure of your temporary love
never to see you or love you blindly.
Perhaps your cruel streak
will consume my heart and inner light
stealing with it my eternal peace.
In this story it is I who die
dying in my love and need of you
loving with passion blood and fire only you.
~ Pablo Neruda, 1959 - Translation my own
SONETO LXVI
NO TE QUIERO sino porque te quiero
y de quererte a no quererte llego
y de esperarte cuando no te espero
pasa mi corazón del frÃÂo al fuego.
Te quiero sólo porque a ti te quiero,
te odio sin fin, y odiándote te ruego,
y la medida de mi amor viajero
es no verte y amarte como un ciego.
Tal vez consumirá la luz de enero,
su rayo cruel, mi corazón entero,
robándome la llave del sosiego.
En esta historia sólo yo me muero
y moriré de amor porque te quiero,
porque te quiero, amor, a sangre y fuego.
~ Pablo Neruda, 1959
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October 03, 2006
Sometimes I think I should just stick to English, IÂ’d definitely do better.
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October 02, 2006
So as I held onto the door, for fear of collapsing in pain, I wished that guy would experience Karmic retribution soon for what heÂ’d done. He quickly went on his way while everyone else around me just stopped and stared in amazement. One woman said as if I wasnÂ’t there: "Wow, she didn't yell, she didnÂ’t curseÂ… she didnÂ’t even cry. I would have at least called the guy a stupid m^%$#@*ker!" Well, just because I didnÂ’t say it didnÂ’t mean I didnÂ’tÂ’ think it.
Actually I didn't do any of those things because I was focusing all my attention on my injury, assessing my situation trying to figure out if I could stand let alone walk on it. The truth was I couldnÂ’t. So there I was, in the lobby of my building, waiting for the cavalry in the form of EMT's.
After the initial examination and prognosis by Jr. EMT, I was given 2 options. The first was to go by ambulance with them to the local emergency room. The 2nd was to refuse their care and see my own Dr. For me the decision was easy but I had to make sure that either one of my DrÂ’s or someone at headquarters could see me. Unfortunately for me, being a Jewish holiday meant that my doctors weren't in.
I will do anything in order to avoid going to a Hospital's emergency room...
A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G! While the rookie EMT was conferring with the experienced EMT and finishing up my paperwork I called the medical office at our headquarters 2 blocks away to let them know I would be coming over and in what condition. Being the resourceful chick that I am, I called in a few favors and got taken in a wheelchair by 2 guys who are (terrific former Marines) on our security staff. Our medical office is staffed by well qualified and very experienced, PA's, PT's and RN's. The guys stuck around and tried to make light of the situation by telling me of their injuries during their last deployment. How could I think of even complaining after that?
By the time the nurse saw me, one of my toes was turning black and blue and the rest of my injured toes were swelling up. Even though I was still in some pain, I still believed that my toes were not broken, hairline fracture maybe, but not broken.
The nurse was the first to try to examine me, but since I was squirming and moving too much she wasnÂ’t able to finish and called in the PhysicianÂ’s Asst. for help. He too was unable to complete the exam as I was by then writhing. He in turn called in the PT to see if he would have better luck with me. After I calmed down a bit I explained that I had been through this before so I asked if they had any type of topical anesthetic on hand.
After the PT sprayed me with the anesthetic, they placed bags of ice on both sides of my foot so they could numb my foot and eventually examine me without me thrashing about. It was only after my foot was completely numb that they were able to check my toes and my foot without me thrashing and crying out in both pain and hysterical laughter. At one point I had all the staff laughing hysterically with me as they had never seen anything like it.
Yes, I know itÂ’s strange, what can I say, I have extremely sensitive feet. Whenever anyone touches my feet I start giggling like mad, and if they continue, within a minute I break out into uncontrollable hysterical laughter. My security escorts thought it was so strange to hear me in such a hysterical fit of laughter instead of crying that they asked to come in and see me. I was laughing so hard when they walked in that they eventually started laughing too. I was laughing so hard I couldnÂ’t even speak.
As the guys closed the door to the taxi that was taking me home I overheard one of them say to the other: “that’s one hell of an area to have an erogenous zone.” I wanted to tell them 'nope that's one hell of an area to have a hysterical funny zone.' What they don’t know is whenever I want to laugh that hard all I have to do is get a pedicure or go to buy shoes and I’m left smiling and giggling for the rest of the afternoon.
BTW, the diagnosis: hairline fracture in 1 toe. Result: IÂ’m wearing an iddy biddy splint and a smile!
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The week before my last living friend, Betsey, died of cancer, she said to me: “who would have thought that a prominent therapist like me would gain such insights and receive such strength from a friendship I never even anticipated.” I never truly understood the loving thought behind what she was trying to say. Mostly, because I was upset over her prognosis, but I now realize that it also had to do with my experience. I didn’t quite understand her meaning because until then Mike and I were the ones with the strongest inner spirit. Yes, there were storms in my life, but they were easily weathered knowing I had incredible friends as my support and anchors, who helped tweak my sails just so each time, enabling me to stay on course.
With their deaths IÂ’ve had to rely on my memories and guidance from the great beyond. That didnÂ’t always work so well. Recently, IÂ’m finding more and more that in your telling of your lives on your blogs, and in my reading of your funny, sweet, tender and often interesting revelations, I find similarities, differences and lessons that I have yet to learn.
Unbeknownst to one blogger, our email exchanges from this past week has helped me enormously in learning something about my life and myself that I otherwise would not have been able to learn. It wasnÂ’t the fact they were holding a virtual mirror to my face, it was the fact that their sharing helped me understand my life and events within it in ways no therapist could have explained that I would have understood because it was out of my frame of reference or understanding. What's even more amazing is realizing that God is helping me with life in the only form I can manage right now - online.
And so tonight, the ripples in the pond have managed to reach me and Betsey, with a simple stone cast by words in a digital medium that is often dismissed as inconsequential. As a result, I am ever more grateful for such inconsequential coincidences, because I now know theyÂ’ll all have a more concrete meaning tomorrow.
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It was my son's first time on a hiking trail and he was very excited. So excited in fact that he disregarded safety warnings and went ahead of me. He thought the rock climbing wall we practiced on last week was enough preparation.
Fortunately, a State Ranger at the top pointed out the error of my son's ways to him and informed him of the large numbers of hungry bears looking for disabedient & silly children who don't mind their parents or follow rules.
Nothing like a little serious tale to persuade a child to respect the rules of hiking & climbing.
[Cross-posted at Postcards from NYC]
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September 30, 2006
At the same time, there was a major warfare going on inside my head between the demands of managing my role of advisor and conciliator and a past that's filled with violent painful memories that dogged my every quiet idle moment.
The internal warfare was so intense that yesterday morning while standing alone in a conference room preparing my presentation with my back to the door I hadnÂ’t noticed that someone quietly entered the room. When they placed their hand near the back of my neck, slightly gripping my neck, I reacted swiftly, instinctually and not of the present moment. When I finally realized what had happened I had him in an arm lock with his face and chest pinned over the conference room table. It was not a pretty sight.
It seemed that in my reaction I had made enough noise to draw the attention of 2 secretaries and the security guard. I apologized to everyone explaining that I had been attacked at a work site before and since there was no one around when he put his hand on my neck I thought he was an intruder. They remained silent and kept an eye on me as they helped me pick up papers and chairs and straighten out the room. One thingÂ’s for sure, that guy will never ever touch a woman he barely knows in such a familiar way again. At least heÂ’ll never put his hands on me again. Apparently, I hurt his knee in the process because when the meeting was over I saw him limping out of the conference room. This situation also reminded me never to sit or stand with my back to a door, especially in the headspace IÂ’m in.
The only thing that helps when IÂ’m in this head space is being around nature. So IÂ’ll be leaving shortly with my son to go 90 miles north, to a headless horsemanÂ’s house, where the leaves on the trees are beginning to change their colors. Maybe if weÂ’re lucky we can find some crisp delicious apples to make a fresh baked apple pie tonight. Just that thought makes feel a bit human again.
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September 29, 2006
I have seen peace. I have seen pain,
Resting on the shoulders of your name.
Do you see the truth through all their lies?
Do you see the world through troubled eyes?
And if you want to talk about it anymore,
Lie here on the floor and cry on my shoulder,
I'm a friend.
I have seen birth. I have seen death.
Lived to see a lover's final breath.
Do you see my guilt? Should I feel fright?
Is the fire of hesitation burning bright?
And if you want to talk about it once again,
On you I depend. I'll cry on your shoulder.
You're a friend.
You and I have lived through many things.
I'll hold on to your heart.
I wouldn't cry for anything,
But don't go tearing your life apart.
I have seen fear. I have seen faith.
Seen the look of anger on your face.
And if you want to talk about what will be,
Come and sit with me, and cry on my shoulder,
I'm a friend.
And if you want to talk about it anymore,
Lie here on the floor and cry on my shoulder,
I'm a friend.
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September 28, 2006
Of wattle and of woad,
Along man's weary way
Dark Pain has been the goad.
Back from the age of stone,
Within his brutish brain,
What pleasure he has known
Is ease from Pain.
Behold in Pain the force
That haled Man from the Pit,
And set him such a course
No mind can measure it.
To angel from the ape
No human pang was vain
In that divine escape
To joy through Pain.
See Pain with stoic eyes
And patient fortitude,
A blessing in disguise,
An instrument of good.
Aye, though with hearts forlorn
We to despair be fain,
Believe that Joy is born
From Womb of Pain.
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September 26, 2006
What Chris seems to have missed and which I remember is that Sunday was the 10th Anniversary of the Khobar Bombing. You remember that one don't you? It was one of many that occurred under your term.
I know you must have been extremely upset with Chris, especially after "The Path of 9/11 pointed out how Sandy Berger, Madeleine Albright and you didnÂ’t go to every length to find the perpetrators of ALL the terrorist attacks during your 8 years in office. And then to read Louis FreehÂ’s article, on the Anniversary of the Khobar Towers bombing, your own appointed investigator of that bombing, piercing the veil of your deceitful revisionist history must have just been too much for you.
Well, Mr. Clinton, your disgraceful execution of office will forever be judged not by the spin you try to portray but on what you did in response to the continual attacks on American citizens and interests abroad. Yes, history will judge you, but it will do so solely on the actions you and those in your administration took or did not take, not on whether Chris Wallace is a conservative and you an immoral liberal. Having lived through this history, I will help others know the truth and remember long and hard every single failed foreign policy and action that brought about the death of my loved ones. But like many of your predecessors, history will judge you with a magnifying glass and a keen eye. For you will be judged, not just by the lack of character and judgment you exhibited during your lifetime, but by the miniscule successes and the massive failures of ALL your actions and inactions in office.
And then sir, you will realize that no amount of lies, deceitful charm will protect you from the American People discovering the truth.
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September 25, 2006
First of all, if you need societal pressure and a friekin' day during the entire year to remind you to spend time with your family, then this entire day is wasted on you. I'm Really Sorry Tammi, but this post is aimed at those that actually need tips and conversation starters and a pledge before sitting down to dinner with their family. If you want to know how a family dinner is supposed to be, then go read Tammi's post. Afterwards, come back and continue reading.
If you need reminders that it's important for your family to sit down at the dinner table together, then you might as well give up now and decide to live with chimps because they can definitely show you what family bonding is about and you might fair better than having a tv station trying to instill values in you.
I for one don't need Hallmark or a TV station to tell me to have dinner with my son or to declare for me its a "Family day". Nope, in fact I'm rather insulted. I took my obligation as a parent so seriously when I became pregnant that I left a job that I absolutely loved so that I could provide for all of my son's needs: physical, emotional and spiritual. Since then, all my choices, both professional and social, have been about not what's best for me, but what's best for my son and I as a family. Sacrifices, like challenges and successes are all shared.
Everyone who comes through our door to stay for any length of time gets enfolded into our small family circle. As a result, they're made a part of our weekly family meetings and outings. The same rules and adherence to values apply for everyone who enters our home. These values and rules are visibly posted for all to see. They are our life guidelines and rules for family cohesion. Before anyone comes to visit I email them our life guidelines and let them know that if they stay with us they will be expected to abide by them. The same discipline rules that apply to my son apply to me, and anyone visiting (no matter the age). I was forced one day to ask my sister to leave my house and not return until her thinking, mouth, hands and attitude were in spiritual agreement with those guidelines. She has never returned, instead she chooses to be a disruptive, destructive and negative influence everywhere she goes.
I am a caring, patient and loving individual, but there are some basic courtesies that in my book ALWAYS NEED TO BE OBSERVED: It begins and ends with respect and tolerance of others.
That being said, lets say there is a family who will actually listen to those tv execs and instead of flippinÂ’ the channel to look at something else will actually have dinner together for the first time. What is the likelihood that theyÂ’ll do it later on in the week or perhaps the following week. Wanna Guess? IÂ’ll spare your neurons and tell you. The sad reality is that statistically if youÂ’re not doing it now, you wonÂ’t. ThatÂ’s right, and no amount of feel good commercials or TV campaigns will make a difference.
So, when your kid is hauled off to jail, or your son is found strung out with a needle in his arm, or humiliating and compromising pictures of your daughter are found on the internet for all to see, donÂ’t look to the courts, the state, the schools, your family or spouse to blame or seek help from, because at that point, itÂ’ll be too damn late! The time you should have tried to spend and guide them is from the beginning. The time you should have made so they donÂ’t wind up in jail or feeling worthless is when theyÂ’re 3 and beginning to develop an understanding between right and wrong and the consequences of their actions. If you think that a little dinner once or twice a year is going to make up for the weeks and months of neglect, or the need for mentors like me, then I suggest you should take a good look at your kids now because youÂ’ve already failed themÂ… big time.
So with that awareness, if you choose to turn off the tv, I suggest you consider, after the dinner and perhaps a board game, if you enjoyed each otherÂ’s company you make a concrete plan on a family plan of how youÂ’re going to do family time consistently a couple of times a week and discuss what core values your family is going to live by. Because being hopeful or occasionally loving, a board game and a few dinners will never be enough to keep a family together.
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September 23, 2006
Charles Rangel: "You don't come into my country, you don't come into my congressional district, and you don't condemn my President."
Senator Charles Schumer: Chavez was "despicable and disgusting"
Former President Clinton: "Obviously, I think he made a mistake."
Reverend Jesse Jackson: [Who was attended the Harlem event] "I urged [Chavez] to stop [his Bush attacks] for his own good."
The NY press has also weighed in on the fray. Today's New York Daily News Front Page headline read "El Loco" and in their page 1 lead told Chavez to ''ZIP IT!'' The New York Post called him a ''JERK!'' and the ''Caracas Crackpot.'' Of
course, the NY Times has simply referred to Chavez as outspoken, minimizing the lengthy barage of insults Chavez has lobbed at our President.
On the other side of the aisle we have:
Governor Pataki: "The best thing he can do is go back to Venezuela and try to provide freedom for his people instead of what he's done here in New York."
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September 22, 2006
Recommended Action
Microsoft encourages users to exercise caution when they open e-mail and links in e-mail even from trusted sources.
You can guard against these exploits by turning off JavaScript and ActiveX in Internet Explorer or using an alternative browser. Ensuring virus definitions are up to date also helps to secure the family PC from the attacks.
Threat Overview
Two new computer malware attacks exploit vulnerable code in Microsoft Internet Explorer and attempt to install spyware to hijack systems. When a user opens an exploited webpage, it may corrupt system memory in such a way to enable an attacker to execute arbitrary code and infiltrate the affected system.
In the News
The vulnerabilities have been acknowledged by Microsoft and have also been publicly disclosed. News articles describing the threat can be found at:
CNET - Web sites exploit visitors IE hole
Microsoft Security Advisory (925444)
Microsoft Security Advisory (92556
Tech World - Explorer hit by new attack
MS Users are encouraged to keep their anti-virus software up to date. Customers can also visit Windows Live OneCare Safety Center and are encouraged to use the Complete Scan option to check for and remove malicious software that take advantage of this vulnerability.
AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT: A Quote:
Every man should be content to mind his own business.
~ Aesop (620 BC-560 BC)
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September 21, 2006
Well, I've stopped torturing myself (and you) with idle blog fodder because I found a new blogger who's expressed my views more eloquently than I ever could. Go on and read him, and also say hello to our new neighbor in the blogosphere.
I already have high hopes for Y.O.Y as he's eluded the curse of the sucky first post by making his short and sweet. Welcome YOY I look forward to reading your POV on life's observances and annecdotes on all the funny things that happen to you.
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I'm like you, when things bother me, they roll around in my mind. I think the blogging experience is going to be a great outlet for me!September 20, 2006
While visiting Rocket Jones this week I discovered I now have even more options. I can get my daily briefings via podcasts. I don't think I'm ready for the government to whisper into my ears just yet. But for those of you who commute by car, and can plug in your MP3players into your car's speaker system (yes, it's easily done with 1 piece of eqpt.), you can now listen to State Dept. briefings & other info via pod or webcasts.
See, our tax money is actually going to good use and bringing our gov't up to technological speed (rolling of the eyes averted from view). Not to mention, it can actually make for some funny blog posts.
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My pirate name is:
Black Ethel Bonney
Like anyone confronted with the harshness of robbery on the high seas, you can be unhappy at times. You can also be a little bit unpredictable, but a pirate's life is far from full of certainties, so that fits your fun-loving spirit pretty well. Arr!
Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.
part of the fidius.org network
[Hat tip: VW of One Happy Dog Speaks
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