Below is a letter I received from my displaced NOLA friend.

Dear Michele:
I went to the State Fair of Texas, as I told you, and here is what I did and saw:

1. Cowboy Troy - Dallas Fort Worth's own country rap artist - you just knew it had to happen, didn't you, that someone would combine those genres? He was really very good. Yaay, Cowboy Troy!

2. Pig Race - Hosted by Pork Boy Elroy - wonder if he is related to Cowboy Troy? Three races of four piglets each - it was so popular they had to turn people away. They lure the pigs with a cookie to get them to run around the track. One tried to make a break for it, and they lured him back - he fell for it, then squealed and squealed when they picked him up and put him back in the pen. He seemed to be saying, oh, curses I almost had it, and foiled by my appetites again.

3. Livestock Barns - These could be found without visual cue, if you know what I mean. My Ugg's may never be the same - ugh. But I saw the largest pig in the state of Texas - the size of a sofa, I kid you not, tumped over on his side, snoring away - beautiful velvety black cows, mules, horses, very loud and obnoxious sheep - BAAAAAHHHH - , weird little goats, and a miniature donkey that hated humans so much he SCREAMED a hee-haw whenever someone came near his pen, which was about every thirty seconds. Wow. It was more like a monkey cage in there. Eee, eee, EEE!!! I had the chance to pet another small burro, but said no thanks, based on the example of the hysterical one. Yes, it was small and seemed placid, but it, too, had hooves. And teeth.

4. Elvis - The fair would not be complete without the King, and he was present in a collection of his personal memorabilia - which was extremely fascinating: his crushed red velvet bedspread from Graceland, his draft notice, his Love Me Tender necklace that he gave to his Grandmother Minnie Mae, etc. - and also as a butter sculpture. Yes, sculpted in butter. That was really, really funny.

5. Elsie the Cow - I met Elsie the cow and baby Beau at the Borden milk booth. Maybe you have caught that the main theme of the State Fair is agricultural. Yes, indeed. Elsie was a very placid large brood cow with big sad eyes, and very curly horns. They must have done a talent search, because she and Beau looked just like the milk carton. Very cute. He was passed out the whole time. I guess too much milk.

6. Food - I ate a snowcone the size of my head and some cotton candy, which though it consisted of a bed pillow size bag of sugar, billed itself as 'Low Fat!' They have no shame. But I passed on the fried cheesecake, fried Twinkies, fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches in honor of the king, french fries, etc. If you can fry it and put it on a stick they serve it and someone will eat it.

7. Big Tex - I overheard some preteen boys heckle Big Tex, the animatronic State Fair mascot since the fifties. He stands near the entrance, with size 86 pants and a ten gallon hat and his scary clown face, and says things like Howdy Pardner! We made fun of him when I was in school, and the tradition seems to be going strong - these kids called him Big Dork.

8. Home grown arts and crafts - The Embarcadero Building houses the winners of an annual statewide arts competition. There is amazing stuff in there, ranging from beautiful tatting and beadwork to macrame and paint by numbers. I have liked looking at this since I was little. It ranges from the sublime to the ridiculous.

A fine time was had by all.

Posted by: Michele at 06:53 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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