It's been almost 48hrs and no one's called to return you and take me up on my reward. I put up flyers around the neighborhood and the phone's not rung once. I've been alternating between being angry, morose and insufferable. I'm glad that my son has a playdate away from me, because I don't even like me right now.

I went back to the book store yestserday and bought another "perfect journal" because I can't be without one, but I haven't been able to write in it. I guess in time I will but not today.

My sister called inviting me out for a Mother's Day dinner tonight, but when I explained how I had lost you guys she quickly asked how I was feeling and decided to reschedule.

She said something that really suprised me: "I know how much your journals mean to you. My first memory ever was watching you from my crib as you wrote for what seemed like forever in your diary. I know they're what help you live fully. Some people eat, others exercise, you write in order to fully experience life and live." Yes, that's it, she gets me.

I have many unpublished posts in my blog as a result of not being able to fully capture an idea or feeling. On occassion I've gone back and have managed to finish them. Where ever I go, I usually have 1 journal in my bag with a pen at the ready. When inspiration or the mood hits me, I write while standing, sitting and on a few occassions, when I've heard some perfect dialogue, I've written while walking. That's when my journal becomes my quote book.

Writing this has helped me feel somewhat better. Eventually I'll see what the lesson in all this is, for today I'll just work on improving my spirits.

Posted by: Michele at 10:15 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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