In the last 24 hr hours, IÂ’ve done a lot to improve/uplift my spirit and frame of mind.

The first thing I did last night after my son went to bed was listen to the recording I made of my auntÂ’s memorial service. Since she was cremated there was no burial and this was the only opportunity for everyone to get together for the last time.

In listening I discovered that the service was as awesome as I thought it had been! Since I was responsible for making sure her wishes were carried out to the letter, I really didnÂ’t get into the groove of the service until the very end, over 2 hrs into the service.

Over the objections of a few of her loved ones, the modern day version of a quasi-New Orleans style memorial service went ahead as planned. The reason my aunt chose me for this job, was because she knew I would honor her wishes to the letter. Of course the penalty of eternal haunting, was a really strong motivation for me to comply. Because the service was held in the church where she did volunteer work with the homeless, I expected a few extra people. What I didnÂ’t expect was a church full of men and women who knew her, and wanted to be there to celebrate her being a part of their lives. Prior to the service beginning, I had tapes of old friends of hers, one playing the harp and the other a violin. The music was incredibly soothing and set a wonderful relaxing tone for the start of the service.

Since we had more guests than we had programs for, after opening the service, I explained what my auntÂ’s wishes were and the theme she had chosen for the service: laughing, singing, and dancing all the way to heaven. I was followed by 4 musical numbers, which slowly increased in tempo and enthusiasm before the first of her speakers went on.

She had only one requirement for those eulogizing her, that they tell a funny story about their relationship and keep their eulogy short, sweet and light. Each speaker was to be preceded and followed by a musical number. I followed not only the order of the speakers she had indicated, but also the order of the musical numbers she had requested. I did take a few cues or suggestions from the Music Director and IÂ’m glad I did, for they were excellent choices. Each speaker wound up being funnier than the last. At one point I thought this is what a comedianÂ’s funeral would probably be like, all silliness, fun, and mayhem.

By the end of the service people were standing, clapping, cheering, smiling and dancing in the aisles. I have never, ever, been so happy or enjoyed myself more at someoneÂ’s funeral.

I was truly glad she asked me to take on this responsibility. Even though it was a challenge to deal with negative relatives, it was well worth it to see and experience the joy and love of life during the service. The musicians, singers, and choir gave a lot of themselves and it was truly felt. Afterwards there was such a spirit of love and laughter in the air that people lingered for almost an hour. As I started getting ready to leave, I truly felt my auntÂ’s presence and her approval of everything.

The end result was just what she had wanted: a true celebration of life and loves: music, humor, service, family and friends. I still have a smile on my face when I think of some of the jokes that were told and some of the songs that were sung. I think IÂ’ll follow her example and plan ahead for when itÂ’s my time to go.

Posted by: Michele at 12:06 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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