The angry little man in the disheveled clothing, yelling for the past few minutes, was trying to furiously channel his inner Napoleon. As he yelled, saliva slowly foamed at the corners of his mouth, making him look more like a rabid, tiny lap dog rather than the imperious man he tried to be.

I sat there, holding my tongue, as my left toe tapped incessantly on the heel of my right shoe. I was channeling my frustration at having to be delayed instead of getting on with my dinner. I was starving, and had already waited too long to eat. My blood's temperature was rising fast and reaching my boiling point.

As the angry little man reached his verbal climax, he stood to say, “This is the worst f@#$%&* building ever!"

I couldnÂ’t help but glare at him. Not only was he wasting our time, he was doing it with a futile and pointless effort. Before us was a fully grown, short little man, in a full-blown temper tantrum. His face turned beet-red as he screamed a few more obscenities and then, in a bizarre and dumbfounding move, he balled up his sweaty handkerchief and threw it at me. Barely shifting in my seat, I let the handkerchief slowly sail past me to hit the sweet older gentleman sitting next to me. I had reached my boiling point!

I exploded by slamming down my hand on the table as I stood up and yelled “Enough”. I waited for the shock of speaking so forcefully, to wear off everyone. Having silenced "little man", I continued speaking in a calm, slow and deliberate voice directly at him, glowering and inwardly salivating at what was about to happen. “You are either going to conduct yourself as an adult, waiting for your turn to speak in a calm normal tone, without cursing, or you will be escorted out of this room”. Knowing him full well I added, “this is your only warning.”

After taking my seat slowly, allowing for everyone's temperature to chill, I then recapped for everyoneÂ’s benefit how I suggested the meeting might proceed. When everyone was in agreement, I asked Tony, the building manager, to lead the meeting. After all, I couldnÂ’t be lead and hunter at the same time. I was too busy psychologically batting my prey about and positioning the others at the right angles to prevent his escape to lead the meeting. I wanted to play the cat and mouse game a little longer before fully pouncing on him.

From everyone’s body language “little man” could tell he was in the lion’s den and about to be eaten alive. There was nothing left for him to do but sit there, anticipating the moment it would happen. Yes he tried in vain to escape our grasp, but it was useless. For every anticipated move on his part there was a deliberate and even more powerful swatting, that left him speechless. Yes, in the end he was eaten alive with one big bite and barely a swallow. For violating the building’s bylaws, and for carrying on as he did, the board fined him mightily and heavily. The total damage: $450 payable in full within 30 days. An additional penalty of 10%/month was imposed for any outstanding balance not paid to the board by the deadline each month. If the balance was not fully paid within 3 months legal action would be taken against him.

Afterwards, we were all home licking our paws with great satisfaction. IÂ’m still walking around with a self-satisfied grin on my face thatÂ’s causing people to stop and look twice. ThatÂ’s how I like my prey, feisty until theyÂ’re finally vanquished!

Posted by: Michele at 12:57 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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